Usually, I don’t even make it to the stairs…

Hey, it’s Jesper!
How do you deal with someone who doesn’t want to cooperate?
My five-year-old son doesn’t like to do what he’s told. Go figure, who does?
I’d probably be more worried if he happily complied with any authority figure who tries to boss him around.
But here’s the thing…his defiance is rather predictable.
Here’s an example:
Come time to get dressed for kindergarten in the morning; a battle of wills could easily ensue.
Several failures have taught me something, though — a head-on approach, such as a command(no, I’m not really dictatorial) like: “Would you please put on your kindergarten clothes?” would render me an instant humiliating defeat — he’d just ignore me.
That’s to be expected…
A more indirect approach, however, stands a much greater chance of succeeding.
For instance:
With the day’s selected clothes on a chair next to my son, I get his attention, point to the pile of clothes next to him, and with a firm voice, I can say something like: “There are your clothes. I have to go upstairs for a few minutes. Make sure that you DON’T put your clothes on before I come back. Ok?”
Usually, I don’t even make it to the stairs before he’s out of his chair…
And by the time I’m back again, he’s fully dressed and ready to go. Once again, he has “tricked” me. A big smile from ear to ear…
Ok, so what’s the takeaway.
It’s simple: effective messaging usually doesn’t start with what YOU want and need.
To influence someone, to nudge them to your point of view, you first need to find out what already influences them.
How can you make it a win for them, as well as for yourself?
To your success

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Jesper Sandell

Jesper Sandell

Hi there, I run Velocitypeak.

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